London Calling
In London, 156 years ago, Queen Victoria was fretting about sparrows flying around the airy heights of the great exhibition in the Crystal Palace creating a mess. She consulted the Iron Duke of Wellington (who had defeated Napoleon in the Battle of Waterloo) who replied simply: sparrow hawks, maam.
You see there wasn't much to do in London during the Victorian era. The Great Exhibition - in a specially constructed Crystal Palace - showcased Industrial Revolution technology (hardly exciting).
Helicopter Rides Over London
Thankfully 21st Century London has some surprising alternatives to pubs/clubs/parks and industrial exhibitions. Think helicopters. For only GBP125 (including VAT!) you can take a 40 minute helicopter tour of the capital The London eye provides good views from 420 feet, but the helicopter tour gives you rotating views from 1000 feet of some of the most scenic parts of London. The tour follows the contours of the River Thames taking in all the well known landmarks such as Tower Bridge, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and so on.
Horse Riding In Hyde Park
If you don't like heights then you could try horse riding in Hyde Park. People have been riding in Hyde Park for over 300 years. There are 5 miles of bridleways to ride round on either horses or ponies. Hyde Park Stables also offer riding lessons. Trotting past the Serpentine, with a light breeze and rustle of spring leafs, London seems a long way away.
Sailing On The River Thames
The London Sailing Club in Hammersmith is the ideal place for a weekend of sailing on the River Thames. You don't have to be an expert as the ICSC has beginners courses. They also organise the occasional booze cruise where you can sail down the Thames and visit a pub or two.
London Bungee Jumping
What goes whoosh aarrrggghh? A London bungee jump of course. Jumping from 165ft, experience ground rush at 60 mph. Expect to feel a G-Force of 2g. They also do jumps from 300 ft and, if you want to jump with your friends, then a foursome jump is available. The club has been established since 1992 and enjoys a solid reputation. Don't try this on a full English breakfast.
Urban Golf
Should all these activities sound a bit tiring then how about playing 52 of the world's greatest golf courses without ever leaving central London? The Urban Golf Centre offers state of the art golfing simulators in cool and stylish surroundings complete with a well equipped bar and lounge. There are two centres to choose from; one in Soho and the other in East London's Smithfield - the UK's largest indoor golf facility. Practise enough and you could enter one of their tournaments.
Train To Be A Clown
And now for something completely different: Clown training workshops. Yes, if you like clowning around but feel some professional training might be just what you need to get into a circus then Foolsense run authentic clown classes. They promise to help you discover the red nose, the 'smallest mask in the world.'
Which One Would You Choose? (if you had to)
Do people do this in other countries? At Waterloo and many other railway stations you might be able to see enthusiasts engaging in the unusual activity (and I use the word lightly) of trainspotting. Here's the deal. Trainspotters stand on platforms and write down the serial numbers of locomotives as they pull into the station. The Nirvana of trainspotting is attained when every train in the country has been meticulously seen and documented. Clapham junction is also a popular location for such anorak clad nomads to cluster. All you need is a notepad (for the train numbers), pencil, thermos flask, camera and thick set glasses (optional, but if you want to look the part). This may seem far too incredible to be true so please direct your cursor to this site www.trainspottingtales.org.uk for confessions from an aging trainspotter.
Only slightly more surreal is lorryspotting where the makes of lorries are noted and pictures taken.
If faced with the terrible choice of three options (and I had to choose one or be vaporised from the planet) (1) trainspotting for a weekend; (2) lorryspotting for a weekend; (3) or licking stamps at a post office for the weekend I know which one I'd choose.